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A fertility journey can bring with it a rollercoaster of emotions. It can feel incredibly lonely and isolating. You can sometimes feel like the world and others around you are continuing to move forward and you are stuck and feeling left behind. You just want to have a baby. Maybe you had envisaged having lots of children and now you would be so happy if you could just have one. Maybe you have one and you long for a sibling for that child and feel others judge you and see you as ungrateful for all you 'already have'. Things that people say in jest only seem to make you feel worse. Maybe you have even reached the stage where you feel like you can't even spend time with others that are pregnant. Even family and very close friends. This only adds to the feeling of being left behind and alone.
It is is unfair. It is heartbreaking. You can feel angry, sad, lost, overwhelmed bitter, and a multitude of other emotions. No emotion is bad. They are all trying to tell you something. It is taking the time to process what they mean and how they can help you to move forward that makes the difference. Processing the emotions and taking action is when the healing happens. Perhaps you are reading this and feeling like that is impossible. Believe me I get it. I've been down that rabbit hole. But it is possible. YOU CAN FEEL IN CONTROL AGAIN. You can live in the wait. You can laugh with friends, feel confident, know who you are, what you want and trust yourself and the decisions you make.
You can feel like nobody understands how you are feeling and if you were to even try to explain they would think you have gone mad. Some of the thoughts we have can leave us questioning who we are as a person. It is hard to see the wood from the trees when you are in the thick of things. When there is something that you want so badly it can take over everything. Especially if it feels like it is happening for everyone else and not you. It can take over everything. Your thoughts, dreams, relationships, friendships, sense of identity, confidence, ability to work, think straight and you forget what it feels like to laugh and have fun. Sex becomes a chore and a means to an end, an end that is not happening. Intimacy can feel like a distant memory, again adding to feeling lost and alone.
If you feel ready to talk about how you are feeling and would like support as you navigate what comes next, feel free to message me and we can take it from there, one step at a time and in a way that feels right for you. You will feel confident again and you will find joy and fun while you wait for your baby.